Tuesday, December 11, 2007

For The Love Of Gucci

I'm not what you would call a fashionista. I don't make a point of putting every outfit together perfectly, matching shoes to belt to purse to earrings and so forth. I don't obsess over my shirt coordinating perfectly with my watch or my necklace complimenting my rings. I mean, for the most part, my wardrobe consists of things that go together no matter what. Black, brown, white, grey, and the occasional colorful sweater or pair of shoes to mix it up. It's not that I don't enjoy taking risks with my look, I'm just aware of what works in what situation and what does not. Which brings me to my point: I never have, and never will, understand women who feel that no matter where they are going, anything they feel like putting on is appropriate.

A good example of this is Carrie in SATC. I love that show. Really, I do. But my major issue with it is the same issue I have with these so called "free spirits of fashion." A towel is not an outfit. Neither is a man's shirt paired with a wide belt and a pair of high heels. Nor are ankle warmers and a night shirt. Adding high heels to something does not constitute getting dressed. And the thing that gets me most is when I see these women out with their friends or boyfriends. I would hope that if my friends came over to find me trying to pass off a slip, faux fur coat and pair of strappy scandals as an outfit, they would immediately call the men in the white coats because it would certainly mean that I had lost it for good and obviously needed help. Same with a boyfriend. While I don't think that couples should tell each other what to do or wear, I do think that boyfriends and girlfriends have a certain responsibility to each other to not let the other walk out of the house looking like a fool. It's just not nice. Love means occasionally having to say "Hon, you look demented."

Granted, I do live most of my life under the impression that the whole world is my bedroom. I mean, I would live in pajamas(complete with fuzzy slippers) if it was allowed. But it's not. The only places that it's OK for me to do that are in my house and at school(some of the time). When I'm at work, or going out, or doing anything in public, it's necessary to make the effort to throw on at least a pair of jeans and a top so that I don't look like I just rolled out of the bed 5 minutes before walking out the door. And I see these people out there in beach cover-ups, night shirts, or outfits fit for a stripper, and I want to walk up to them and ask "I just want to know what you were thinking when you got dressed this morning. Really, what was going through your head? Did you look in the mirror? Or just throw caution to the wind and hope for the best? And where are the cops? I believe this constitutes public indecency." And it's always in places like Target, or Wal-Mart, or Publix that I see them. Those are public places to , ya know! The rest of us are not impervious to your smell or horrible fashion choices just because the store is the size of a small country. Lingerie doesn't count either. Just because it costs more than your average pair of pants doesn't make it clothing.

But hey, I could be wrong. Maybe if I got out there in next to nothing, I'd see what all the rage is about. But with my luck, all I would end up seeing is the inside of a prison cell.

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