Sex. Yours. Your friends'. Your exes'. Yours and your ex's. Yours and your friends' exes'. Your ex's and your friend's...and their friends'...with their friends' exes. Confused? So was I, at about 8 o'clock last night when my friend informed me that a fling of mine was the topic of conversation recently among a group of, you guessed it, my friends. I'm used to being the topic of conversation. I'm just one of those people that other people talk about. Not because I happen to be any more interesting, attractive, or intelligent than the rest of the people I associate with. I don't know why it is, but then again, I could say the same thing about Brit Brit. Everyone saw that train wreck coming, but MY GAWD, the girl has taken it a step in satin too far. So, to say that one is used to being the topic of conversation does not necessarily imply that one is the topic of flattering conversation. And really, when the conversation turns to your sex life, anything is possible, depending on who's doing the talking.
I talk about sex. You talk about sex. Everyone and their Mother talks about sex. How it feels, how often they're having it, who they're having it with, who you're having it with, etc. But last night I realized for the first time that I was not completely comfortable with my friends talking about MY sex life. Not because the conversation was bad, and not because of the people who were having it. But because I just couldn't imagine that there would be an occasion in which it would be a relevant topic of discussion. Plus, it just plain creeps me out. You hear that your friends, one who has slept with you in particular, are talking about you in a sexual way and all of the sudden, it all comes flooding back.
Think about the way that you discuss sex, especially when it comes to other people. Think about the details. Tastes, skin, bodies, hair, smells, skill, positions, locations, underwear and panties of choice, balls...you get the idea. It all comes out at some point. It seems to be the consensus among my males friends that as a whole, men tend to wait until they have broken up with a girl to divulge all the gory details to their comrades. Women, however, spill the beans as soon as they can get to a phone. Now think about a group of people you know talking about you in that way.
I KNOW! It's unsettling, isn't it? Even if you know that you rocked some one's socks, there's still the slight feeling of uneasiness knowing that it's out there. But then again, you know those things about them too. I know details of my friends' sex lives that would turn your hair white. And does it change how I feel about them? No. Does it make me view them as different people? Maybe. Examples: I know that my friend Alexandra goes Brazilian. I know that Alex likes his hair pulled. I'm aware of the exact spot on Walter's ear that sends him into orbit when licked. I know that Rachel turns around whenever she's trying to imagine sleeping with someone else. Have I slept with all of these people? No, I have not. But I know these things about them just the same as someone who has. Because they talk about it. Their lovers talk about it. EVERYONE talks about it.
So, what's a girl to do? Two choices seem to pop out at me. Either a) stop having sex with anyone who has even the smallest chance of knowing your friends, or you. b) stop having sex.
Well, considering that I'm lazy and don't have the time or energy to be out there finding new sexual partners, the people I know are just going to have to do.
I guess I should pull out the good lingerie. After all, I DO NOT want to be known as the girl who wears boring undergarments.