Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Don't Feed The Animals, Thank You

- A man asked me today if the plate of cookies we had up front in our office were cookies you eat. I said "Yep, sure are. Take as many as you like." But all the while, I was wondering to myself how many fake cookies this man has come across in his lifetime. I mean, I've seen fake food displays, don't get me wrong. I've seen friends decorate their dining room tables with vases and bowls of fake fruit(which sounds tacky as hell, but if done the right way, actually looks pretty and festive), I've seen fake sandwiches at subway, so as to demonstrate what your actual sandwich will not resemble in the slightest, and at The Loop restaurant they usually have one of their dishes made and out for show so people can see what it looks like. I know that technically that last one wasn't fake food, but since you're not supposed to eat it, we'll consider it "fake". But never have I seen fake food in an office. What's the point? We're not selling food, so it's not a "preview" of what you're getting. Even in places like Doctors' offices, or Banks, when they put out bowls of candy, I never think to myself "What a lovely display of breath mints." Because, if there's some kind of food out in an office, it's for customers to eat, not just admire. Then again, I could have completely misunderstood what he meant. Maybe he was under the influence of a hallucinogen and thought they weren't real, as in not really there. Either way sir, take as many fake cookies as your little heart desires.

- Since I can't really think of anything else that has happened today that makes me wonder "Is it just me?", I thought that I would address a question I get from my friends and loved ones about some of the topics on this blog. Yes, these things really happen. No, I am not embellishing the truth. Word for crazy word, that is what went down. I guess reading this, as someone who didn't experience it personally, one would think "That could never happen. People don't do/say/ask/ things like that." But I assure you, dear readers, that people do in fact do/say/ask things like that ALL THE TIME. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I attract the crazies, or make them feel as though they can really open up and be themselves around me. Maybe it's that combined with where I work(we get some off the rockers in here). One may never know. That's why I started this blog. Because I just knew that while the things that happen to and around me sometimes(well, let's be honest, always) get on my nerves or piss me off, I cannot deny that they are all at once entertaining, enlightening, and words of indirect warning. That, and I wanted to let everyone else out there who asks that same question day in and day out know that, no, it is not just you.


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  2. You know, people never ask me if any of the strange stuff I write about happened for real... but then again, I probably give off some kind of loony karma that makes it seem perfectly sensible.