Wednesday, February 20, 2008

You Glow Girl

- People's narcissism never ceases to amaze me. The conversation I have most often with people that call the office goes something like this: Person:"Hi, this is Bill. One of your attorneys did some work for me a few years ago, and I was wondering if I could get a copy of my file." Me: "Bill, do you have a last name?" Person: "Smith. Do you know when I could pick that up?" Me: "How many years ago was it?" Person:" Back in 01." Me: "Well, probably by the end of the week. I'll have to pull your file and copy it." Person:" Well, I was thinking more like this afternoon." Reeeeeaallllyyyyyyy? When faced with these kinds of statements, I always have to take a moment to consider whether laughter would an inappropriate response. Unfortunately, the answer is yes. First of all, who calls their former Attorney after 7 years, or ever, and only gives their first name? Second, who calls the DAY OF and asks for work that was done that long ago? But my favorite part is the attitude I get when I don't know who they are. I feel like saying "Sir, unless your name is George Clooney, you could have come in to the office yesterday and spent 5 hours talking to me and I still would not remember you. We're your attorney, not your Mother. It's not our job to make you feel special." Am I wrong?

- I love gossip columns like a sexaholic loves porn...well, maybe not that much, but they do hold a special place in my heart. One thing that's been all the rage lately is that Angelina Jolie is believed to be preggers. And the overwhelming evidence of this is that she "that glow." Yeah, uh-hu, sure, that could be it. Or it could be that she's rolling in dough, gets the best beauty treatments money can buy, has nothing to worry about ever, and gets to bang one of the hottest men alive every single day(yeah, I said it). I mean, really, it's a toss up. Don't get me wrong, I think Angie deserves everything she has. Not only is she one of the most generous celebs out there, but really an example to humanity as a whole. Kudos to you, Angie, kudos to you. And if you want to throw some of that money my way, that's cool too.

1 comment:

  1. No kidding. If a fun, high-paying job, and having sex with Brad Pitt on a regular basis doesn't give you a brilliant smile and a luminous complexion, nothing will.