License and Registration Please

Hola Bloggies!

Calling all the engaged and married ladies! Even the ones who are no longer married but were at some point, because I think we ALL have something to add to this. Today's topic is something that, I'll be honest, I would never in all my wildest dreams of crystal kittens and cashmere mittens have guessed would be a bone of contention. But alas! Others' need to stick their noses where it does not belong never ceases to amaze and disturb me. So, with that, away we go...

WEDDING REGISTRIES.

Am I right??!!

Oh, well, I suppose I should have something to be right about.

Here's the thing, I have been engaged for almost two years now, and my wedding is very quickly approaching(Yes MOM, I know, sooner than we all think! So much to do! I promise I will get it done) and as such, people are really starting to get into the registries to purchase gifts, because like a good bride I did the following:

1. Included little cards in the invitations with where we are registered.
2. Included registry numbers in case some people had trouble, as someone inevitably does.
3. I made sure to registry for things in a very WIDE price range...I'm talking $3-$800...so that EVERYONE could find something. I would seriously be happy if someone got me even two of my coffee mugs that cost $4 each. Not even joking.

So, because we are now two weeks away and this is when people are buying their gifts, the comments have really started to come in, particularly about my choice of items. And it's really startin' to bug me.

Let me give you a small sampler:

"Why would you register for china? No one uses china anymore."
"Why do you need so many sets of sheets? One should be fine."
"Asking for 12 place settings is greedy."
"Who registers for candles?"

First of all, to these people, let me just say: Don't worry about it BRIAN.

No, I'm just kidding. Brian supports all of my registry choices because he knows they benefit him in the long run.

But really, these questions just get me all kinds of fired up, because it is shocking to me that anyone would openly question what someone else, whom they do not live with, is asking for as gifts. Honestly, what do you care if I want six sets of sheets? Maybe I have a compulsion to change my sheets daily! Now wouldn't that just be EXTRA shitty of you? To not only make me feel bad about my requests, but also to embarrass me about my disease? You disease mocker!

No, really, let's get serious people.

1. I registered for china because I am a LADY and I like to entertain. Also, I have a CHINA CABINET and like its name suggests, it is made to house CHINA. And besides that. I want it. Ok? I just want it. And P.S., people obviously do use china because if they did not, stores would not carry it because they would not be able to sell it, and therefore it would be wasted shelf space. And considering that EVERY store you can register with sells GD china, it's pretty damn obvious that people are using it. And not only that, they are very obviously using it in DROVES, because when I went to register, the pattern I picked out was on back order for three months. That is 90 days of people buying so much of that china that they literally could not keep up with production.

2. I like clean sheets! Right now, I have a few sets, but only one that I really love, and so I am forced to wash them every week, and they are starting to fall apart after two years of this. I'm sorry that you are a disgusting germy person who does not enjoy clean sheets. Remind me to never sleep in YOUR guest room. But if you ever do stay in my house, I can assure you that those sheets are clean, and probably NEW. You're welcome. Plus, it's a really neutral gift that almost anyone can get you and that is also not super expensive.  Plus, when, other than this occasion, is anyone besides my Mother going to buy me SHEETS? Hmm? "Oh, Shana, what would you like for your birthday this year?" "Sheets."  No, that is not even normal.

3. Oh, is it? Is it? Really, I thought it was thoughtful, because I love my guests, and do not want them feeling left out when the rest of the people at the table have beautiful china to eat off of and they have my regular dishes(which, don't get me wrong, are very pretty, but they are not platinum printed CHINA). I like to entertain, and I like to invite a lot of people over at once, and I have a large family, and I am looking forward to the day when the entire lot of them is over at my house eating merrily from my beautiful china whilst I look on with the eagle eye of shame if even one of them dares to break so much as a teacup. So, I am so very sorry if you hate my guests and want them to feel left out. I'll let them know that, right in the middle of dinner. And then point to you.

4. I register for candles. I like candles, a LOT. They make our house smell like a home, like apple pie and cinnamon and whatever the hell Harvest is supposed to smell like. It is slowly becoming obvious to me while I think about this that the person who asked me that must just hate fun. And things that smell good. Plus, candles can be pricey. And again, no one besides my Mom would buy me a candle as a gift. My Mom bought me TWO last holiday season because she understands that they make me happy. So, excuse me for asking for them. I thought this was MY registry, not YOURS. If you want to register for stinky, stingy items for your wedding, then you go right ahead!

And let me just point out here that these are people we invited to our wedding. People we agreed to pay un-Godly amounts of money to feed and get drunk and entertain. People whom we thought to be our close friends and family, who are now questioning our choices in household goods!

Shame, shame, shame on you.

What about you bloggies? Is anyone out there questioning your registry choices? Or did they in the past?


Let me know!




Much love,
Shana