Hola Bloggies!
Calling all the engaged and married ladies! Even the ones who are no longer married but were at some point, because I think we ALL have something to add to this. Today's topic is something that, I'll be honest, I would never in all my wildest dreams of crystal kittens and cashmere mittens have guessed would be a bone of contention. But alas! Others' need to stick their noses where it does not belong never ceases to amaze and disturb me. So, with that, away we go...
WEDDING REGISTRIES.
Am I right??!!
Oh, well, I suppose I should have something to be right about.
Here's the thing, I have been engaged for almost two years now, and my wedding is very quickly approaching(Yes MOM, I know, sooner than we all think! So much to do! I promise I will get it done) and as such, people are really starting to get into the registries to purchase gifts, because like a good bride I did the following:
1. Included little cards in the invitations with where we are registered.
2. Included registry numbers in case some people had trouble, as someone inevitably does.
3. I made sure to registry for things in a very WIDE price range...I'm talking $3-$800...so that EVERYONE could find something. I would seriously be happy if someone got me even two of my coffee mugs that cost $4 each. Not even joking.
So, because we are now two weeks away and this is when people are buying their gifts, the comments have really started to come in, particularly about my choice of items. And it's really startin' to bug me.
Let me give you a small sampler:
"Why would you register for china? No one uses china anymore."
"Why do you need so many sets of sheets? One should be fine."
"Asking for 12 place settings is greedy."
"Who registers for candles?"
First of all, to these people, let me just say: Don't worry about it BRIAN.
No, I'm just kidding. Brian supports all of my registry choices because he knows they benefit him in the long run.
But really, these questions just get me all kinds of fired up, because it is shocking to me that anyone would openly question what someone else, whom they do not live with, is asking for as gifts. Honestly, what do you care if I want six sets of sheets? Maybe I have a compulsion to change my sheets daily! Now wouldn't that just be EXTRA shitty of you? To not only make me feel bad about my requests, but also to embarrass me about my disease? You disease mocker!
No, really, let's get serious people.
1. I registered for china because I am a LADY and I like to entertain. Also, I have a CHINA CABINET and like its name suggests, it is made to house CHINA. And besides that. I want it. Ok? I just want it. And P.S., people obviously do use china because if they did not, stores would not carry it because they would not be able to sell it, and therefore it would be wasted shelf space. And considering that EVERY store you can register with sells GD china, it's pretty damn obvious that people are using it. And not only that, they are very obviously using it in DROVES, because when I went to register, the pattern I picked out was on back order for three months. That is 90 days of people buying so much of that china that they literally could not keep up with production.
2. I like clean sheets! Right now, I have a few sets, but only one that I really love, and so I am forced to wash them every week, and they are starting to fall apart after two years of this. I'm sorry that you are a disgusting germy person who does not enjoy clean sheets. Remind me to never sleep in YOUR guest room. But if you ever do stay in my house, I can assure you that those sheets are clean, and probably NEW. You're welcome. Plus, it's a really neutral gift that almost anyone can get you and that is also not super expensive. Plus, when, other than this occasion, is anyone besides my Mother going to buy me SHEETS? Hmm? "Oh, Shana, what would you like for your birthday this year?" "Sheets." No, that is not even normal.
3. Oh, is it? Is it? Really, I thought it was thoughtful, because I love my guests, and do not want them feeling left out when the rest of the people at the table have beautiful china to eat off of and they have my regular dishes(which, don't get me wrong, are very pretty, but they are not platinum printed CHINA). I like to entertain, and I like to invite a lot of people over at once, and I have a large family, and I am looking forward to the day when the entire lot of them is over at my house eating merrily from my beautiful china whilst I look on with the eagle eye of shame if even one of them dares to break so much as a teacup. So, I am so very sorry if you hate my guests and want them to feel left out. I'll let them know that, right in the middle of dinner. And then point to you.
4. I register for candles. I like candles, a LOT. They make our house smell like a home, like apple pie and cinnamon and whatever the hell Harvest is supposed to smell like. It is slowly becoming obvious to me while I think about this that the person who asked me that must just hate fun. And things that smell good. Plus, candles can be pricey. And again, no one besides my Mom would buy me a candle as a gift. My Mom bought me TWO last holiday season because she understands that they make me happy. So, excuse me for asking for them. I thought this was MY registry, not YOURS. If you want to register for stinky, stingy items for your wedding, then you go right ahead!
And let me just point out here that these are people we invited to our wedding. People we agreed to pay un-Godly amounts of money to feed and get drunk and entertain. People whom we thought to be our close friends and family, who are now questioning our choices in household goods!
Shame, shame, shame on you.
What about you bloggies? Is anyone out there questioning your registry choices? Or did they in the past?
Let me know!
Much love,
Shana
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
The Games People Play
Wassup Bloggies?!
How are we this glorious fall morning? Or, as we like to call it in Florida, "Not the surface of the sun!" I feel like I should warn you now that this post is going to kinda be all over the map today. There's so much I want to share with you! But I don't want you to get lost, so I'll try and break it down into subsections. Or categories...or bullet points...something! there will be something to indicate new topics.
First, as indicated in the title, I want to tell you about a little game Brian and I play. And before you all get dirty on me, I mean in the office. Wait, that didn't sound right either...just follow me, ok? So, because Brian and I both work from home now, and because we are both in businesses where we mainly communicate through email and social media, and also mainly talk about OTHER people, whether through newsletters or articles or what-have-you, we are subject to some people giving us pushback.
Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Shana, who would dare EVER give Brian pushback?? He is obviously the nicest and most fair person ever and no one could ever disagree with him."
And I agree with YOU!! Brian is the most popular in this relationship. Both with me and others. But sometimes people do write to him to tell him their disappointment in something he has done. And this happened yesterday.
(And also, thanks for assuming people get upset with me constantly and also not even pretending to be shocked. Thanks.)
SO, long story longer, we play this game with emails people send us(and any communication really) in which they express some kind of anger or disappointment with us, where we ask eachother to give suggested responses because sometimes it can be hard to be objective when someone is attacking you. Brian did so with one such email yesterday. He asked me to come take a look and let him know my thoughts. So, I did. I knew after the first line what he should say. Three little words with a whole lotta meaning...
"Haters gonna hate."
BAM!!
We then had this conversation:
Brian: AAHAHAAA!!... oh wait, you're serious?
Me: Yep. Yes I am. Because they're obviously hatein' on you.
Brian: Do you have anything else?
Me: You should add at the end, "Step the f*&$ off, yo!"
Brian: Go away, this is not helpful.
Me: Don't be hatein'!
Brian: ***stares at me*** No more Flo-Rida for you.
So, yeah. My suggestion was not taken THIS time. But I assure you, bloggies, they usually are when, you know, I act normal and say something more along the lines of, "Tell them to check THEIR facts!!" or, "You are the smartest man in the whole world!" or something like that.
TOPIC #2: (like how I did that? I didn't forget my promise)
So, as you know, I am getting married in just a few short weeks. This means that we have been getting tons of gifts delivered to the house! The only unfortunate part is when something really heavy is delivered, and we are not here, it is left on the doorstep and we have to bring it in ourselves. And if Brian is not home, that means I have to do it, annd those of you who know me know that my upper-body strength is non-existent. So, the other day, a package got dropped off, and Brian was just walking out the door as this happened, so I thought, "Perfect! He can bring it in and leave me to tear into it like a three-year-old on Christmas morning!"
But do you know what he did??? He looked down at it, looked at me, and said, "Oh good, a gift. Let me know what it is when I get back."
!!!!!!What??!!!
So, I asked very nicely(eyeroll) if he would carry it inside for me. Because I am a LADY and a delicate flower and also was just kinda cranky and wanted to stay inside the air-conditioned house.
But he said, "No, take it in yourself, I'm already downstairs and you're RIGHT there."
So, I shut the door. With the package still outside. I actually did intend to go get it. I just wanted to wait until he drove off, and (in my mind) felt guilty about not helping me. I went to get some water and play with our cats and generally pass some time until I felt he was safely around the corner and would not catch me doing his bidding, and then I could tell him later that some very nice young gentleman was passing by and offerd to help me when he saw my horrible struggle of getting the box inside.
*** side note, there actually is this very adorable 12 year-old in our neighborhood who is so polite, and the other day, when he saw us, asked how our family brunch went. Kudos to his Mother!! Or Father!! Or whoever is raising such a nice young man.
So, anyways, before I could carry out my plan, I heard the door open back up, and there he was. My knight in shining armor carrying in the box. Yes, Brian came back in with our gift. He put it down on our bench by the door, turned and walked back out, without a word.
I love him so much. SO MUCH. He puts up with so much from me.
Topic #3:
I got some mysterious voicemail the other day from my wedding dress lady telling me I missed an appointment. I had NOT missed an appointment. I may forget to floss, or do my editing on articles until the last minute, or even eat, but I have not forgotten, not ONCE, anything having to do with my wedding. I have dreamed of this day since I was able to dream, and I am aware of every little detail, every appointment, every tasting, EVERYTHING.
Also, let's be honest. I would never forget to eat. I'm a Jewish woman. It will never happen.
So, I call back and no one in the shop could figure out what I was trying to tell them. Which to me is worrysome, especially considering all I was saying was, "Hi, someone in alterations just left me a voicemail saying I had missed an appointment today. Here is my last name, can you please confirm that my appointment is next Tuesday?" Is that confusing to any of you?
In the end, I got it all figured out, and everything is good, and my dress fits, etc. But it was so frustrating! I hate when people make things more complicated than it has to be. I got so many ridiculous questions from these people before anyone helped me in the slightest!
"You're dress doesn't fit?"
"You are picking up your dress today?"
"You want to make an appointment to buy a dress?"
"You are returning your dress?"
NO! I just want to confirm an appointment for a fitting, and make sure that I did not, in fact, miss one as you JUST left me a message saying I did. Literally, the woman I was speaking to was the one that left the voicemail! And I'm not saying that she doesn't have tons of people she calls every day, and tons of dresses and brides on file, but I gave her my account #, my last and first name(in that order bc that is how they look it up), my dress style #, my appointment time, everything. I could not have been more prepared for that phone call.
-
So, is it just me? Do you all experience peope sending you "hatein'" emails? Or does your significant other do things that sometimes baffle you? Whether in a pleasant or unpleasant way? Or have you recently experienced an encounter where you just could not be understood and felt like a foreigner in your own life?
Let me know bloggies!
How are we this glorious fall morning? Or, as we like to call it in Florida, "Not the surface of the sun!" I feel like I should warn you now that this post is going to kinda be all over the map today. There's so much I want to share with you! But I don't want you to get lost, so I'll try and break it down into subsections. Or categories...or bullet points...something! there will be something to indicate new topics.
First, as indicated in the title, I want to tell you about a little game Brian and I play. And before you all get dirty on me, I mean in the office. Wait, that didn't sound right either...just follow me, ok? So, because Brian and I both work from home now, and because we are both in businesses where we mainly communicate through email and social media, and also mainly talk about OTHER people, whether through newsletters or articles or what-have-you, we are subject to some people giving us pushback.
Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Shana, who would dare EVER give Brian pushback?? He is obviously the nicest and most fair person ever and no one could ever disagree with him."
And I agree with YOU!! Brian is the most popular in this relationship. Both with me and others. But sometimes people do write to him to tell him their disappointment in something he has done. And this happened yesterday.
(And also, thanks for assuming people get upset with me constantly and also not even pretending to be shocked. Thanks.)
SO, long story longer, we play this game with emails people send us(and any communication really) in which they express some kind of anger or disappointment with us, where we ask eachother to give suggested responses because sometimes it can be hard to be objective when someone is attacking you. Brian did so with one such email yesterday. He asked me to come take a look and let him know my thoughts. So, I did. I knew after the first line what he should say. Three little words with a whole lotta meaning...
"Haters gonna hate."
BAM!!
We then had this conversation:
Brian: AAHAHAAA!!... oh wait, you're serious?
Me: Yep. Yes I am. Because they're obviously hatein' on you.
Brian: Do you have anything else?
Me: You should add at the end, "Step the f*&$ off, yo!"
Brian: Go away, this is not helpful.
Me: Don't be hatein'!
Brian: ***stares at me*** No more Flo-Rida for you.
So, yeah. My suggestion was not taken THIS time. But I assure you, bloggies, they usually are when, you know, I act normal and say something more along the lines of, "Tell them to check THEIR facts!!" or, "You are the smartest man in the whole world!" or something like that.
TOPIC #2: (like how I did that? I didn't forget my promise)
So, as you know, I am getting married in just a few short weeks. This means that we have been getting tons of gifts delivered to the house! The only unfortunate part is when something really heavy is delivered, and we are not here, it is left on the doorstep and we have to bring it in ourselves. And if Brian is not home, that means I have to do it, annd those of you who know me know that my upper-body strength is non-existent. So, the other day, a package got dropped off, and Brian was just walking out the door as this happened, so I thought, "Perfect! He can bring it in and leave me to tear into it like a three-year-old on Christmas morning!"
But do you know what he did??? He looked down at it, looked at me, and said, "Oh good, a gift. Let me know what it is when I get back."
!!!!!!What??!!!
So, I asked very nicely(eyeroll) if he would carry it inside for me. Because I am a LADY and a delicate flower and also was just kinda cranky and wanted to stay inside the air-conditioned house.
But he said, "No, take it in yourself, I'm already downstairs and you're RIGHT there."
So, I shut the door. With the package still outside. I actually did intend to go get it. I just wanted to wait until he drove off, and (in my mind) felt guilty about not helping me. I went to get some water and play with our cats and generally pass some time until I felt he was safely around the corner and would not catch me doing his bidding, and then I could tell him later that some very nice young gentleman was passing by and offerd to help me when he saw my horrible struggle of getting the box inside.
*** side note, there actually is this very adorable 12 year-old in our neighborhood who is so polite, and the other day, when he saw us, asked how our family brunch went. Kudos to his Mother!! Or Father!! Or whoever is raising such a nice young man.
So, anyways, before I could carry out my plan, I heard the door open back up, and there he was. My knight in shining armor carrying in the box. Yes, Brian came back in with our gift. He put it down on our bench by the door, turned and walked back out, without a word.
I love him so much. SO MUCH. He puts up with so much from me.
Topic #3:
I got some mysterious voicemail the other day from my wedding dress lady telling me I missed an appointment. I had NOT missed an appointment. I may forget to floss, or do my editing on articles until the last minute, or even eat, but I have not forgotten, not ONCE, anything having to do with my wedding. I have dreamed of this day since I was able to dream, and I am aware of every little detail, every appointment, every tasting, EVERYTHING.
Also, let's be honest. I would never forget to eat. I'm a Jewish woman. It will never happen.
So, I call back and no one in the shop could figure out what I was trying to tell them. Which to me is worrysome, especially considering all I was saying was, "Hi, someone in alterations just left me a voicemail saying I had missed an appointment today. Here is my last name, can you please confirm that my appointment is next Tuesday?" Is that confusing to any of you?
In the end, I got it all figured out, and everything is good, and my dress fits, etc. But it was so frustrating! I hate when people make things more complicated than it has to be. I got so many ridiculous questions from these people before anyone helped me in the slightest!
"You're dress doesn't fit?"
"You are picking up your dress today?"
"You want to make an appointment to buy a dress?"
"You are returning your dress?"
NO! I just want to confirm an appointment for a fitting, and make sure that I did not, in fact, miss one as you JUST left me a message saying I did. Literally, the woman I was speaking to was the one that left the voicemail! And I'm not saying that she doesn't have tons of people she calls every day, and tons of dresses and brides on file, but I gave her my account #, my last and first name(in that order bc that is how they look it up), my dress style #, my appointment time, everything. I could not have been more prepared for that phone call.
-
So, is it just me? Do you all experience peope sending you "hatein'" emails? Or does your significant other do things that sometimes baffle you? Whether in a pleasant or unpleasant way? Or have you recently experienced an encounter where you just could not be understood and felt like a foreigner in your own life?
Let me know bloggies!
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
You Shut Your Trashy Mouth When You're Talking To Me!
Goodmorning Bloggies!!
So, Imma be honest witcha, I was seriously concerned regarding my ability to find something so soon that would make me ask, "Is it just me?" Because honestly, my life has been pretty awesome lately. This is because of Brian. Brian makes my life awesome. But anywhos, I was on facebook this a.m. as per usual to stalk my friends and family when BAM, it happened. Like, two minutes after I woke up.
I should have known that since the debate was last night that someone would not be able to control themselves and would have to get into some ridiculous fight over some political bullshit on facebook, of all places. It was also not surprising to me who the bullshit came from. But before we get into what went down, let me share with you my feelings on the facebook: I love facebook for a few reasons, but mainly because I have lots of friends that have moved away and it's the fastest way for me to see pics of their adorable kids, pets, homes, work, etc. and also know what is going on with them, like when they get a new job or new relationship, what have you. I do not like that people use facebook as a public place to air their political garbage. That's what the holidays with family are for. So, I tend to just ignore posts about our President, or Mittens, or anything having to do with healthcare(I get my notices from BCBS as it is regarding my non-existent medicare coverage...perhaps because I get so many tests done? another story people, another time).
But I could not ignore it this a.m., not once I saw this "friend" of mine call a woman a "trash mouth." Here's how this went down:
- First, this friend of mine posted her usual ramblings about the President and his "lies" and somehow that coordinated with his race, or something. Honestly, I might just copy the text of her post at the bottom so that you all can see it for yourselves, because I read it many times and couldn't figure out how race came into this logically, but whatevs.
-Then, and this is where things went really wrong, she said something about painting him white. PAINTING HIM WHITE. So, this other woman commented, and basically was just disagreeing about whether or not Obama lies, and then at the end asked the question, "Why should we paint him white?"
- My "friend" then accused tis woman of calling her a racist and said, "You're a trash mouth."
Is it just me, or is that a serious leap of logic spawned by the hatred some people have of anyone ever questioning their political "opinions" otherwise known, to them, as "the truth?" So, this woman who asked why we should paint Obama white responds by saying, basically, "I don't think you're a racist, I have never accused you of being one, I was just participating in a friendly political debate with you, and asking why you said we should paint him white?" Nope, "friend" was not having it. She responded with "Whatever, you're a trash mouth."
Why would you post anything about the DEBATE and then get upset if someone wanted to DEBATE back? If you're posting about politics on your facebook, and commenting daily, I might add, on how stupid and selfish and horrible liberals are, how can you honestly expect that no one is EVER going to turn back and say, "Hey, I don't really agree, here is why, and let's discuss." And then get pissed and start name-calling like a child? Don't post about politics and dish it out if you can't take it in kind. When your beloved Mittens debates with Obama, he doesn't throw accusations and then run off the stage holding his ears closed and shouting, "I can't HEAR YOU!!!!" No, he stands there, albeit with that smug look on his face, and listens, like a gentleman. I don't even like the man, and I'll give him that.
Look, I love a good conversation on the state of the nation as much as the next girl, but I try to keep those conversations to the dinner table and long car rides with Brian when I am guaranteed a captive audience for my comments like, "Joe Biden reminds me of unflavored oatmeal." I'm not out there pushing my opinions on others and sending them daily reminders that they are the cause of this nation's problems. "VOTING FOR OBAMA WILL KILL ALL THE BABIES" and shit like that. No, I just sit quietly at my computer while Brian watches the debates or news and occassionaly throw out really important commentary, such as
"See honey? You CAN wear a blue stripe tie with a yellow shirt."
or
"Did that moderator just call Obama 'Obama Bin Laden'????"
or
"That Michelle is wearing the new crewl sweater from J. Crew I wanted!"
OR, my personal favorite,
"Brian, turn that down! I am trying to watch the premier of season 8 of Weeds!!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCjnRw5r2TQ&feature=player_detailpage
Above is the link to the Wedding Crasher's line that is this post's namesake.
** Also, very sorry, but when I went back to copy the text of the original post from facebook, the owner had deleted it. :( Perhaps because she looked at it again and realized she was being a hypocritical nonsense slinger? Probably not. But we can hope.
So, Imma be honest witcha, I was seriously concerned regarding my ability to find something so soon that would make me ask, "Is it just me?" Because honestly, my life has been pretty awesome lately. This is because of Brian. Brian makes my life awesome. But anywhos, I was on facebook this a.m. as per usual to stalk my friends and family when BAM, it happened. Like, two minutes after I woke up.
I should have known that since the debate was last night that someone would not be able to control themselves and would have to get into some ridiculous fight over some political bullshit on facebook, of all places. It was also not surprising to me who the bullshit came from. But before we get into what went down, let me share with you my feelings on the facebook: I love facebook for a few reasons, but mainly because I have lots of friends that have moved away and it's the fastest way for me to see pics of their adorable kids, pets, homes, work, etc. and also know what is going on with them, like when they get a new job or new relationship, what have you. I do not like that people use facebook as a public place to air their political garbage. That's what the holidays with family are for. So, I tend to just ignore posts about our President, or Mittens, or anything having to do with healthcare(I get my notices from BCBS as it is regarding my non-existent medicare coverage...perhaps because I get so many tests done? another story people, another time).
But I could not ignore it this a.m., not once I saw this "friend" of mine call a woman a "trash mouth." Here's how this went down:
- First, this friend of mine posted her usual ramblings about the President and his "lies" and somehow that coordinated with his race, or something. Honestly, I might just copy the text of her post at the bottom so that you all can see it for yourselves, because I read it many times and couldn't figure out how race came into this logically, but whatevs.
-Then, and this is where things went really wrong, she said something about painting him white. PAINTING HIM WHITE. So, this other woman commented, and basically was just disagreeing about whether or not Obama lies, and then at the end asked the question, "Why should we paint him white?"
- My "friend" then accused tis woman of calling her a racist and said, "You're a trash mouth."
Is it just me, or is that a serious leap of logic spawned by the hatred some people have of anyone ever questioning their political "opinions" otherwise known, to them, as "the truth?" So, this woman who asked why we should paint Obama white responds by saying, basically, "I don't think you're a racist, I have never accused you of being one, I was just participating in a friendly political debate with you, and asking why you said we should paint him white?" Nope, "friend" was not having it. She responded with "Whatever, you're a trash mouth."
Why would you post anything about the DEBATE and then get upset if someone wanted to DEBATE back? If you're posting about politics on your facebook, and commenting daily, I might add, on how stupid and selfish and horrible liberals are, how can you honestly expect that no one is EVER going to turn back and say, "Hey, I don't really agree, here is why, and let's discuss." And then get pissed and start name-calling like a child? Don't post about politics and dish it out if you can't take it in kind. When your beloved Mittens debates with Obama, he doesn't throw accusations and then run off the stage holding his ears closed and shouting, "I can't HEAR YOU!!!!" No, he stands there, albeit with that smug look on his face, and listens, like a gentleman. I don't even like the man, and I'll give him that.
Look, I love a good conversation on the state of the nation as much as the next girl, but I try to keep those conversations to the dinner table and long car rides with Brian when I am guaranteed a captive audience for my comments like, "Joe Biden reminds me of unflavored oatmeal." I'm not out there pushing my opinions on others and sending them daily reminders that they are the cause of this nation's problems. "VOTING FOR OBAMA WILL KILL ALL THE BABIES" and shit like that. No, I just sit quietly at my computer while Brian watches the debates or news and occassionaly throw out really important commentary, such as
"See honey? You CAN wear a blue stripe tie with a yellow shirt."
or
"Did that moderator just call Obama 'Obama Bin Laden'????"
or
"That Michelle is wearing the new crewl sweater from J. Crew I wanted!"
OR, my personal favorite,
"Brian, turn that down! I am trying to watch the premier of season 8 of Weeds!!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCjnRw5r2TQ&feature=player_detailpage
Above is the link to the Wedding Crasher's line that is this post's namesake.
** Also, very sorry, but when I went back to copy the text of the original post from facebook, the owner had deleted it. :( Perhaps because she looked at it again and realized she was being a hypocritical nonsense slinger? Probably not. But we can hope.
Monday, October 22, 2012
The Times, They Are-a-Changin'
Hi Bloggies!
Just a follow-up to what has changed in my life since I last blogged 4 years ago, I wanted to let you know what's new. Since some of you may have just started reading this, I used to work in a law firm in college and was single when this whole shtick started(try saying that five times fast!). Here's what's happenin' these days:
- I graduated from UNF with a degree in English, FINALLY. Or, as my Mother would say, "Shana, you can only pull off the whole 'I'm finding myself' thing for so long. Get your F#&%ing degree for the love of God."
- I became un-single. I broke up with the boyfriend I had, and met a new and better one. Way better. Like, probably better than I deserve. He is truly amazing. And now he is no longer my boyfriend, he is my fiance! My soon-to-be-hubby!
- I now work for a Magazine. I am their Events and Travel Editor, and I also do their restaurant articles. Yes, I get paid to eat. And travel. If that's not evidence that I have God's direct line, I don't know what is.
- So many more things that are too long and complicated to list. Long story short, I learned a hell of a lot about myself and my place in the world(turns out I am not the most important person EVER) over the last four years.
All will reveal itself in time. We got lots of time to get to know each other. Let's take this slow and see if we're a good fit. If we have chemistry. But I'm just gonna let ya know up front, I make a mean lasagna.
Just a follow-up to what has changed in my life since I last blogged 4 years ago, I wanted to let you know what's new. Since some of you may have just started reading this, I used to work in a law firm in college and was single when this whole shtick started(try saying that five times fast!). Here's what's happenin' these days:
- I graduated from UNF with a degree in English, FINALLY. Or, as my Mother would say, "Shana, you can only pull off the whole 'I'm finding myself' thing for so long. Get your F#&%ing degree for the love of God."
- I became un-single. I broke up with the boyfriend I had, and met a new and better one. Way better. Like, probably better than I deserve. He is truly amazing. And now he is no longer my boyfriend, he is my fiance! My soon-to-be-hubby!
- I now work for a Magazine. I am their Events and Travel Editor, and I also do their restaurant articles. Yes, I get paid to eat. And travel. If that's not evidence that I have God's direct line, I don't know what is.
- So many more things that are too long and complicated to list. Long story short, I learned a hell of a lot about myself and my place in the world(turns out I am not the most important person EVER) over the last four years.
All will reveal itself in time. We got lots of time to get to know each other. Let's take this slow and see if we're a good fit. If we have chemistry. But I'm just gonna let ya know up front, I make a mean lasagna.
The Madala is Back!!
Hi All! And by all, I mean my Mom after I tell her I have started blogging again. I am back after a four year break. I know, four years is a long break. Let's just call it a hiatus. I was on a hiatus. I took four years between the ages of 22 and 26 to grow up(a little bit), learn some, love some, and by some stroke of luck, watch almost every dream I have ever had come true before my very eyes. Before you all start asking, no I did not meet Brad Pitt, have him fall madly in love with me, and move to Greece to run a cheese farm. But I did fall madly in love with someone better. Yes, bloggies, I met the love of my life. And in three weeks, he is all MINE, for the REST OF HIS LIFE. That's right, I AM GETTING MARRIED!!
Among the other amazing things I did in the last four years, I met, fell in love with, and got engaged to the most amazing, funny, generous, kind, understanding, loving, and handsome man I have ever had the pleasure to know. Brian. He is my perfect match. The peanut butter to my jelly, the yin to my yang, the olive to my vodka. Well, I guess he could be the vodka because he hates olives. See! That's how much I love him. I am willing to change my metaphors for him!
So, why am I back you ask? I am here again because I was reading this AMAZING blog by this super funny girl named Lauren(read all about her here). Her blog is called Filing Jointly...Finally. And I love it. And as I was reading, I was thinking to myself, "Self, why have you not blogged? You love doing this also. You are funny. Go be funny with others!" So here I am to be funny with all of you, and share with you the day-to-day of the new life I am in.
I hope we can share good times and good stories. I have so many! To start you off, here is a picture from my bachelorette party this past weekend. This is the Australian guy we met that helped me cross some of the items off my to-do list that the girls gave me. He was a good sport considering he was innocently enjoying a cocktail at the bar when he was suddenly attackd by 6 very drunk girls.
And a thank you to all of my amazing bridesmaids, who are also my best friends. I love you all more than I can say. You are my support system and never judge me for my crazy and sometimes dramatic hijinks. I am honored that you have all agreed to stand with me as I marry Brian on what I hope will be the most beautiful and fun weekend we've ever had.
I will be back soon with many tales of the weird, the wacky, and the things that make me think, "Is it just me?"
Among the other amazing things I did in the last four years, I met, fell in love with, and got engaged to the most amazing, funny, generous, kind, understanding, loving, and handsome man I have ever had the pleasure to know. Brian. He is my perfect match. The peanut butter to my jelly, the yin to my yang, the olive to my vodka. Well, I guess he could be the vodka because he hates olives. See! That's how much I love him. I am willing to change my metaphors for him!
So, why am I back you ask? I am here again because I was reading this AMAZING blog by this super funny girl named Lauren(read all about her here). Her blog is called Filing Jointly...Finally. And I love it. And as I was reading, I was thinking to myself, "Self, why have you not blogged? You love doing this also. You are funny. Go be funny with others!" So here I am to be funny with all of you, and share with you the day-to-day of the new life I am in.
And a thank you to all of my amazing bridesmaids, who are also my best friends. I love you all more than I can say. You are my support system and never judge me for my crazy and sometimes dramatic hijinks. I am honored that you have all agreed to stand with me as I marry Brian on what I hope will be the most beautiful and fun weekend we've ever had.
I will be back soon with many tales of the weird, the wacky, and the things that make me think, "Is it just me?"
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Don't Feed The Animals, Thank You
- A man asked me today if the plate of cookies we had up front in our office were real...like cookies you eat. I said "Yep, sure are. Take as many as you like." But all the while, I was wondering to myself how many fake cookies this man has come across in his lifetime. I mean, I've seen fake food displays, don't get me wrong. I've seen friends decorate their dining room tables with vases and bowls of fake fruit(which sounds tacky as hell, but if done the right way, actually looks pretty and festive), I've seen fake sandwiches at subway, so as to demonstrate what your actual sandwich will not resemble in the slightest, and at The Loop restaurant they usually have one of their dishes made and out for show so people can see what it looks like. I know that technically that last one wasn't fake food, but since you're not supposed to eat it, we'll consider it "fake". But never have I seen fake food in an office. What's the point? We're not selling food, so it's not a "preview" of what you're getting. Even in places like Doctors' offices, or Banks, when they put out bowls of candy, I never think to myself "What a lovely display of breath mints." Because, if there's some kind of food out in an office, it's for customers to eat, not just admire. Then again, I could have completely misunderstood what he meant. Maybe he was under the influence of a hallucinogen and thought they weren't real, as in not really there. Either way sir, take as many fake cookies as your little heart desires.
- Since I can't really think of anything else that has happened today that makes me wonder "Is it just me?", I thought that I would address a question I get from my friends and loved ones about some of the topics on this blog. Yes, these things really happen. No, I am not embellishing the truth. Word for crazy word, that is what went down. I guess reading this, as someone who didn't experience it personally, one would think "That could never happen. People don't do/say/ask/ things like that." But I assure you, dear readers, that people do in fact do/say/ask things like that ALL THE TIME. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I attract the crazies, or make them feel as though they can really open up and be themselves around me. Maybe it's that combined with where I work(we get some off the rockers in here). One may never know. That's why I started this blog. Because I just knew that while the things that happen to and around me sometimes(well, let's be honest, always) get on my nerves or piss me off, I cannot deny that they are all at once entertaining, enlightening, and words of indirect warning. That, and I wanted to let everyone else out there who asks that same question day in and day out know that, no, it is not just you.
- Since I can't really think of anything else that has happened today that makes me wonder "Is it just me?", I thought that I would address a question I get from my friends and loved ones about some of the topics on this blog. Yes, these things really happen. No, I am not embellishing the truth. Word for crazy word, that is what went down. I guess reading this, as someone who didn't experience it personally, one would think "That could never happen. People don't do/say/ask/ things like that." But I assure you, dear readers, that people do in fact do/say/ask things like that ALL THE TIME. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I attract the crazies, or make them feel as though they can really open up and be themselves around me. Maybe it's that combined with where I work(we get some off the rockers in here). One may never know. That's why I started this blog. Because I just knew that while the things that happen to and around me sometimes(well, let's be honest, always) get on my nerves or piss me off, I cannot deny that they are all at once entertaining, enlightening, and words of indirect warning. That, and I wanted to let everyone else out there who asks that same question day in and day out know that, no, it is not just you.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
You Glow Girl
- People's narcissism never ceases to amaze me. The conversation I have most often with people that call the office goes something like this: Person:"Hi, this is Bill. One of your attorneys did some work for me a few years ago, and I was wondering if I could get a copy of my file." Me: "Bill, do you have a last name?" Person: "Smith. Do you know when I could pick that up?" Me: "How many years ago was it?" Person:" Back in 01." Me: "Well, probably by the end of the week. I'll have to pull your file and copy it." Person:" Well, I was thinking more like this afternoon." Reeeeeaallllyyyyyyy? When faced with these kinds of statements, I always have to take a moment to consider whether laughter would an inappropriate response. Unfortunately, the answer is yes. First of all, who calls their former Attorney after 7 years, or ever, and only gives their first name? Second, who calls the DAY OF and asks for work that was done that long ago? But my favorite part is the attitude I get when I don't know who they are. I feel like saying "Sir, unless your name is George Clooney, you could have come in to the office yesterday and spent 5 hours talking to me and I still would not remember you. We're your attorney, not your Mother. It's not our job to make you feel special." Am I wrong?
- I love gossip columns like a sexaholic loves porn...well, maybe not that much, but they do hold a special place in my heart. One thing that's been all the rage lately is that Angelina Jolie is believed to be preggers. And the overwhelming evidence of this is that she "that glow." Yeah, uh-hu, sure, that could be it. Or it could be that she's rolling in dough, gets the best beauty treatments money can buy, has nothing to worry about ever, and gets to bang one of the hottest men alive every single day(yeah, I said it). I mean, really, it's a toss up. Don't get me wrong, I think Angie deserves everything she has. Not only is she one of the most generous celebs out there, but really an example to humanity as a whole. Kudos to you, Angie, kudos to you. And if you want to throw some of that money my way, that's cool too.
- I love gossip columns like a sexaholic loves porn...well, maybe not that much, but they do hold a special place in my heart. One thing that's been all the rage lately is that Angelina Jolie is believed to be preggers. And the overwhelming evidence of this is that she "that glow." Yeah, uh-hu, sure, that could be it. Or it could be that she's rolling in dough, gets the best beauty treatments money can buy, has nothing to worry about ever, and gets to bang one of the hottest men alive every single day(yeah, I said it). I mean, really, it's a toss up. Don't get me wrong, I think Angie deserves everything she has. Not only is she one of the most generous celebs out there, but really an example to humanity as a whole. Kudos to you, Angie, kudos to you. And if you want to throw some of that money my way, that's cool too.
Bagles Are Made of Bread...Right?
I went to Panera this morning to get some coffee. Big mistake. While I was standing in line, I could tell that the woman in front of me looked confused. I figured that she was just trying to decide what kind of bagel she wanted, as that can be a pretty stressful decision. Oh, how wrong I was. She gets up to the register(keep in mind, there are like 10 people in line behind her), and when the clerk asks her what she wants, she says "Oh, I just don't know. I'm on the low-carb diet, so I'm not sure what I can have." I kid you not, I turned around and walked out. One, because I didn't have time to stand there while genius came to the conclusion that she could not, in fact, have ANYTHING from Panera. And two, because I just knew that I didn't have the level of self control necessary to not ask this woman why she came, of all places, to a restaurant who's sign says "A Bread Company." Really, it's a question of knowing your limits.
- I have to say that I'm really proud of recent celeb Moms like Nicole Richie for making an attempt to give their children normal names. Harlow may not be the first thing that most people would think of, but at least it's not a food. I mean, what kind of name is Apple? Whenever I hear it, I think of the scene in Anchorman when Steve Carell says "I love lamp." I think that Gwen was just sitting at home one day before she went in to labor, spotted an apple sitting on her kitchen counter(or wherever it is that celebs keep their fruit), and decided then and there that she was naming her baby Apple. At least that's the way I see it going down.
- I have to say that I'm really proud of recent celeb Moms like Nicole Richie for making an attempt to give their children normal names. Harlow may not be the first thing that most people would think of, but at least it's not a food. I mean, what kind of name is Apple? Whenever I hear it, I think of the scene in Anchorman when Steve Carell says "I love lamp." I think that Gwen was just sitting at home one day before she went in to labor, spotted an apple sitting on her kitchen counter(or wherever it is that celebs keep their fruit), and decided then and there that she was naming her baby Apple. At least that's the way I see it going down.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
In The Event Of An Emergency, Please Contact Someone Who Cares
Ok, decided on a new format. From now on, unless I'm really harping on one topic, I will be providing you with my thoughts on various things that piss me off/make me laugh/confuse me more than chemistry(and that's pretty damn hard).
- I was standing in line at the bank today, all by myself, thinking about whether or not I should switch shampoos(as one does), when all of the sudden this guy comes in and gets in line behind me. Except, instead of standing at a comfortable, and might I add NORMAL, 2-3 feet away from me, he stood like 6 inches behind me. And stayed there. I have to say, in spite of him not doing anything weird or frightening, this really bothered me. I mean, he didn't smell offensive, or try and touch me, or have an obnoxious conversation on his cell phone, he just stood there quietly waiting for his turn. But why? Why, when there was about 8 feet worth of standing room, did he choose to stand RIGHT ON TOP OF ME? These are the kinds of things that really make me concerned about the metal health of the human race.
- A customer called the office today and asked to speak to a coworker that happened to be out of the office due to the death of a family member. When I told the customer that she was unavailable for the forseeable future, the person kept on and on, asking why she was out. Finally I told her that there had been a death in the family, just to shut her up, assuming that death would be sufficient reason for one to be out of the office. Do you know what the customer says to me? She says "Really?"What do you mean "Really?" No, not really. I just thought that it would be fun to tell you that someone had died. What kind of sicko would make something like that up, and what kind of idiot says "Really?" If you don't have a better response than "Really?", just don't say anything. Just hang up. It would make more sense than questioning the validity that someone did in fact die.
- It is now safe to say that I hate couples, who insist on making Valentine's Day the most importnant day ever, more this year than last year. And this year, I'm in a couple. I'm not saying that I hate the holiday, or what it stands for, or that I don't plan on celebrating it. I'm very happy to be celebrating Valentine's with my boyfriend. I'm sure it'll be special, and sweet and full of candy and cupid vomit which is presently covering the surface of every major grocery, drug, and department store. What I hate is people who shove the holiday down your throat. I was getting a pedicure the other day, and this girl that was sitting next tome starting chatting with me, which in itself should have told me that this was going nowhere good. I'm not an unfriendly person, I just don't feel the social obligation that most people do to fill silence between myself and a stranger with idle chit chat. But anyways, so this girl starts chatting with me, I think over my ring that I had on. Girls chat about those things. And now I remember how we got on the subject of V-day. She complimented my ring and asked if my boyfriend had given it to me. I told her no, that it was family heirloom, and left it at that. Well, she took that as an opening to start asking me what my plans were, what I was getting him, if I had any idea what he might be getting me, if I bought those "cute" little candy hearts, if we had a favorite restaurant that we would be visiting...on and on it went. I just told her that I really wasn't in to all the big fancy hearts and showy stuff on Valentine's Day, that I would be perfectly content to just "do whatever" with my boyfriend, and that I didn't know what I was getting him yet and I hadn't really thought about him getting me a gift. This girl looked at me like I had just proclaimed myself the next Mussolini and was planning a coup d'etat as we spoke. She asked "Oh, bad relationship?" First, what the hell is up with the totally inappropriate responses lately?? And second, why in the name of all that is holy would you ask a complete stranger that? I turned to her(because up until this point I just kept on reading my magazine hoping she would shut up. Obviously that was about as effective as trying to see snow by moving to Brazil) and said "No, we just have a great enough relationship that we don't have to tell each other how much it means by buying each other overpriced crap." I don't think her brain computed what I had just said. She went back to trying to decide on a polish color.
- I was standing in line at the bank today, all by myself, thinking about whether or not I should switch shampoos(as one does), when all of the sudden this guy comes in and gets in line behind me. Except, instead of standing at a comfortable, and might I add NORMAL, 2-3 feet away from me, he stood like 6 inches behind me. And stayed there. I have to say, in spite of him not doing anything weird or frightening, this really bothered me. I mean, he didn't smell offensive, or try and touch me, or have an obnoxious conversation on his cell phone, he just stood there quietly waiting for his turn. But why? Why, when there was about 8 feet worth of standing room, did he choose to stand RIGHT ON TOP OF ME? These are the kinds of things that really make me concerned about the metal health of the human race.
- A customer called the office today and asked to speak to a coworker that happened to be out of the office due to the death of a family member. When I told the customer that she was unavailable for the forseeable future, the person kept on and on, asking why she was out. Finally I told her that there had been a death in the family, just to shut her up, assuming that death would be sufficient reason for one to be out of the office. Do you know what the customer says to me? She says "Really?"What do you mean "Really?" No, not really. I just thought that it would be fun to tell you that someone had died. What kind of sicko would make something like that up, and what kind of idiot says "Really?" If you don't have a better response than "Really?", just don't say anything. Just hang up. It would make more sense than questioning the validity that someone did in fact die.
- It is now safe to say that I hate couples, who insist on making Valentine's Day the most importnant day ever, more this year than last year. And this year, I'm in a couple. I'm not saying that I hate the holiday, or what it stands for, or that I don't plan on celebrating it. I'm very happy to be celebrating Valentine's with my boyfriend. I'm sure it'll be special, and sweet and full of candy and cupid vomit which is presently covering the surface of every major grocery, drug, and department store. What I hate is people who shove the holiday down your throat. I was getting a pedicure the other day, and this girl that was sitting next tome starting chatting with me, which in itself should have told me that this was going nowhere good. I'm not an unfriendly person, I just don't feel the social obligation that most people do to fill silence between myself and a stranger with idle chit chat. But anyways, so this girl starts chatting with me, I think over my ring that I had on. Girls chat about those things. And now I remember how we got on the subject of V-day. She complimented my ring and asked if my boyfriend had given it to me. I told her no, that it was family heirloom, and left it at that. Well, she took that as an opening to start asking me what my plans were, what I was getting him, if I had any idea what he might be getting me, if I bought those "cute" little candy hearts, if we had a favorite restaurant that we would be visiting...on and on it went. I just told her that I really wasn't in to all the big fancy hearts and showy stuff on Valentine's Day, that I would be perfectly content to just "do whatever" with my boyfriend, and that I didn't know what I was getting him yet and I hadn't really thought about him getting me a gift. This girl looked at me like I had just proclaimed myself the next Mussolini and was planning a coup d'etat as we spoke. She asked "Oh, bad relationship?" First, what the hell is up with the totally inappropriate responses lately?? And second, why in the name of all that is holy would you ask a complete stranger that? I turned to her(because up until this point I just kept on reading my magazine hoping she would shut up. Obviously that was about as effective as trying to see snow by moving to Brazil) and said "No, we just have a great enough relationship that we don't have to tell each other how much it means by buying each other overpriced crap." I don't think her brain computed what I had just said. She went back to trying to decide on a polish color.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Devil May Care...But Then Again, Maybe Not
I can't concentrate today. I blame all the cold meds. So, we're gonna do things a little differently today.
- Heath Ledger died. I have no idea why this upsets me so much. I didn't know him personally, he wasn't one of my favorite actors, and although he never did anything scandalous, he never really did anything that made me say "Wow, what a truly amazing individual." But somehow, I am truly saddened by his passing. Maybe it's because he was only 28. Maybe it's because he had a daughter who will now never know what it really means to be Daddy's little girl. Maybe because he died the same way so many people in Hollywood do, well, so many people for that matter, which is alone...and naked. Or maybe it's because deep down, as fatalistic as it sounds, many of us expect death or disease from certain people. The people who do drugs, drink, party, sleep around, drive while under the influence, or mix illegal substances quicker than a bartender can serve you a mojito on a slow night. We're shocked when it's someone low key, someone who flies under the radar. But like they say, it's always the quiet ones you have to look out for.
- I recently learned how to play beer pong. OH. MY. GOD. I never got beer pong. I mean, really, if you want to get drunk, get drunk. Why stand around trying to land a ping pong ball in a cup of beer? Because it is so much FUN! That's why. I'm a pretty competitive person, and so is my boyfriend(which makes me even more competitive), and beer pong can get pretty intense. Especially if you're on a team. Boyfriend and I have yet to fight, we're just not fighting people. But I have a feeling that if we ever really do throw down, it's gonna be over who's fault it was that we didn't win the beer pong tournament. Seriously, some one's gonna miss the winning shot and it'll be on like donkey kong.
- I have become a very forgetful person. This kind of worries me, seeing as I'm all of 21. That's not supposed to happen for like another 40 years...right? The thing is though, it's never the important stuff like work or school, or ice cream at the grocery store. It's always stuff that, when I realize I've forgotten it, I'm not really all that upset about it. Usually it's plans that I didn't want to make in the first place, or to buy something that I didn't really need. So, the way I see it, my brain has just decided to save me from myself. It weeds out all the crap that doesn't need to be in there. And honestly, I think it's pretty cool that my brain considers picking up gum more important than lunch plans with that person who wanted to pick my brain about...hold on, I just had it.
- I would like to know why Myspace seems to be on a completely different time continuum than the rest of the world. Seriously. Have you ever sent someone a message, or written a blog, or posted a bulletin, and then gone back and looked at it later and it says that it was written/left/posted at 3:42 am when in fact the actual time was 6:30pm? This has been going on since I got on myspace 3 years ago. Is there some option to set your myspace clock that I don't know about? I know that this really should not be that big of a deal, but it bothers me. Mainly because I know people who actually stay up all night on their myspace, and I would never want anyone, not even my fake friends whom I have never met, to think that I am one of them.
- And my last thought for this post: I love that having babies is the new trend in Hollywood. Seriously, babies are the new Kabalah. Everyone is taking part. It would not surprise me one bit to find out that stars(and I use that term loosely) are designing their kids. I could totally hear one of them going ape shit on some poor geneticist over whether or not it's possible to design a child that will one day have the talent to sing, act, get a DUI by age 17, and have a cocoaine problem, all the while starring in TV series that promotes family values.
- Heath Ledger died. I have no idea why this upsets me so much. I didn't know him personally, he wasn't one of my favorite actors, and although he never did anything scandalous, he never really did anything that made me say "Wow, what a truly amazing individual." But somehow, I am truly saddened by his passing. Maybe it's because he was only 28. Maybe it's because he had a daughter who will now never know what it really means to be Daddy's little girl. Maybe because he died the same way so many people in Hollywood do, well, so many people for that matter, which is alone...and naked. Or maybe it's because deep down, as fatalistic as it sounds, many of us expect death or disease from certain people. The people who do drugs, drink, party, sleep around, drive while under the influence, or mix illegal substances quicker than a bartender can serve you a mojito on a slow night. We're shocked when it's someone low key, someone who flies under the radar. But like they say, it's always the quiet ones you have to look out for.
- I recently learned how to play beer pong. OH. MY. GOD. I never got beer pong. I mean, really, if you want to get drunk, get drunk. Why stand around trying to land a ping pong ball in a cup of beer? Because it is so much FUN! That's why. I'm a pretty competitive person, and so is my boyfriend(which makes me even more competitive), and beer pong can get pretty intense. Especially if you're on a team. Boyfriend and I have yet to fight, we're just not fighting people. But I have a feeling that if we ever really do throw down, it's gonna be over who's fault it was that we didn't win the beer pong tournament. Seriously, some one's gonna miss the winning shot and it'll be on like donkey kong.
- I have become a very forgetful person. This kind of worries me, seeing as I'm all of 21. That's not supposed to happen for like another 40 years...right? The thing is though, it's never the important stuff like work or school, or ice cream at the grocery store. It's always stuff that, when I realize I've forgotten it, I'm not really all that upset about it. Usually it's plans that I didn't want to make in the first place, or to buy something that I didn't really need. So, the way I see it, my brain has just decided to save me from myself. It weeds out all the crap that doesn't need to be in there. And honestly, I think it's pretty cool that my brain considers picking up gum more important than lunch plans with that person who wanted to pick my brain about...hold on, I just had it.
- I would like to know why Myspace seems to be on a completely different time continuum than the rest of the world. Seriously. Have you ever sent someone a message, or written a blog, or posted a bulletin, and then gone back and looked at it later and it says that it was written/left/posted at 3:42 am when in fact the actual time was 6:30pm? This has been going on since I got on myspace 3 years ago. Is there some option to set your myspace clock that I don't know about? I know that this really should not be that big of a deal, but it bothers me. Mainly because I know people who actually stay up all night on their myspace, and I would never want anyone, not even my fake friends whom I have never met, to think that I am one of them.
- And my last thought for this post: I love that having babies is the new trend in Hollywood. Seriously, babies are the new Kabalah. Everyone is taking part. It would not surprise me one bit to find out that stars(and I use that term loosely) are designing their kids. I could totally hear one of them going ape shit on some poor geneticist over whether or not it's possible to design a child that will one day have the talent to sing, act, get a DUI by age 17, and have a cocoaine problem, all the while starring in TV series that promotes family values.
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